I Can't Stay
Jul. 10th, 2013 08:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
feredarStory: I Can't Stay
Year: 979 FY, 990 FY, 991 FY
Characters: Fera, Kellom, Andrell
Warnings: Background war, oblique reference to character death
i'm sorry.
It's the morning after their wedding, and Fera finds that she is still shy of him, a little bit. Not because he's ten years older than she is, or because he will one day be King, and certainly not because he's cruel or thoughtless, but...he's still such a magnificent stranger, a statue of a god sitting across from her, over the breakfast table laid with hot tea and softly-buttered bread.
"I can't stay," he says, and leans over to kiss her cheek softly--gentle, courteous, even kind.
She watches him leave through lowered lashes, and finishes her cooling breakfast alone.
please don't ask why
It's early on one of the last days of the war, and Fera can see the fine cracks in him. He comes to her more now than he did in happier times, and she feels sick at her gratitude for it.
She doesn't ask about the shadows in his eyes, and she doesn't offer to chase them away, except in the silent way that's the only one she knows: being his refuge. Because even if she's never good enough, at least she isn't breaking.
"I can't stay," he says, brushing her lips ever-so-softly, and she daydreams that he sounds regretful.
you could never understand
It's a bright, cool dawn, and, after six months of genteel imprisonment, Fera is going home.
Her brother-in-law offered to let her stay. He promised her she'd be safe. And...she's not like Tana, chasing ghosts, having to flee them to maintain her peace and safety, but there's something that keeps her from accepting.
And it isn't his fiancee, and it isn't people obviously wondering how much she really did or did not do.
It's the memory of eleven years of cool tea and softly buttered bread, of butterfly kisses and regretful smiles and gentle, awkward nights.
"I can't stay."
Year: 979 FY, 990 FY, 991 FY
Characters: Fera, Kellom, Andrell
Warnings: Background war, oblique reference to character death
i'm sorry.
It's the morning after their wedding, and Fera finds that she is still shy of him, a little bit. Not because he's ten years older than she is, or because he will one day be King, and certainly not because he's cruel or thoughtless, but...he's still such a magnificent stranger, a statue of a god sitting across from her, over the breakfast table laid with hot tea and softly-buttered bread.
"I can't stay," he says, and leans over to kiss her cheek softly--gentle, courteous, even kind.
She watches him leave through lowered lashes, and finishes her cooling breakfast alone.
please don't ask why
It's early on one of the last days of the war, and Fera can see the fine cracks in him. He comes to her more now than he did in happier times, and she feels sick at her gratitude for it.
She doesn't ask about the shadows in his eyes, and she doesn't offer to chase them away, except in the silent way that's the only one she knows: being his refuge. Because even if she's never good enough, at least she isn't breaking.
"I can't stay," he says, brushing her lips ever-so-softly, and she daydreams that he sounds regretful.
you could never understand
It's a bright, cool dawn, and, after six months of genteel imprisonment, Fera is going home.
Her brother-in-law offered to let her stay. He promised her she'd be safe. And...she's not like Tana, chasing ghosts, having to flee them to maintain her peace and safety, but there's something that keeps her from accepting.
And it isn't his fiancee, and it isn't people obviously wondering how much she really did or did not do.
It's the memory of eleven years of cool tea and softly buttered bread, of butterfly kisses and regretful smiles and gentle, awkward nights.
"I can't stay."