Waiting for Anger
Mar. 6th, 2019 10:29 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
feredarStory: Waiting for Anger
Rating: R
Characters: Fera
Warnings: References to incest and adultery, breakdown of a marriage
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always. An immediate followup to this.
More than anything, Fera wanted to be angry.
She should have been angry. She knew that. Even years down the line, she’d found out her husband had cheated on her, and with--
Well, did it even really matter who with?
(The answer was--this time, yes, but if it had been just about anyone else, no.)
And that there was a child involved…
She’d always wanted kids. Always. But when she never got pregnant, and Kellom never said anything, she just assumed he hadn’t wanted them. And, in the end, she’d chosen the husband she loved over the kids she hadn’t had, and held her peace.
And, true, he’d never…she believed him, when he said that his reasons hadn’t had anything to do with Sorell. He didn’t treat the kid any different from his other nephews, after all.
But still, it hurt. And she didn’t want it to hurt. She wanted to be angry.
Except she wasn’t angry. Not really. Some, yes, but…not enough. Not as much as she should be.
She wasn’t even all that angry with herself, for being so oblivious--which was probably a good thing, since she knew this wasn’t her fault. Whatever she’d done, or not done, to contribute to the failure of her marriage, it was nothing--nothing--compared to what he’d done.
But…well, maybe the reason why she wasn’t angry was that…the truth was, her marriage had been slowly dying for a while--maybe even from the very beginning--and she’d just been too oblivious, too in love with him, to realize. It took something like this, learned years and years too late, to make her finally see.
There was one thing she knew for sure now. And that was that, if Kellom had ever loved her, it hadn’t been enough. And she just wished that knowing that would stop hurting.
She rolled down all the windows and drove down the deserted midnight highway, letting the wind blow through her hair, and waited to be angry.
Rating: R
Characters: Fera
Warnings: References to incest and adultery, breakdown of a marriage
Notes: Constructive criticism welcome, as always. An immediate followup to this.
More than anything, Fera wanted to be angry.
She should have been angry. She knew that. Even years down the line, she’d found out her husband had cheated on her, and with--
Well, did it even really matter who with?
(The answer was--this time, yes, but if it had been just about anyone else, no.)
And that there was a child involved…
She’d always wanted kids. Always. But when she never got pregnant, and Kellom never said anything, she just assumed he hadn’t wanted them. And, in the end, she’d chosen the husband she loved over the kids she hadn’t had, and held her peace.
And, true, he’d never…she believed him, when he said that his reasons hadn’t had anything to do with Sorell. He didn’t treat the kid any different from his other nephews, after all.
But still, it hurt. And she didn’t want it to hurt. She wanted to be angry.
Except she wasn’t angry. Not really. Some, yes, but…not enough. Not as much as she should be.
She wasn’t even all that angry with herself, for being so oblivious--which was probably a good thing, since she knew this wasn’t her fault. Whatever she’d done, or not done, to contribute to the failure of her marriage, it was nothing--nothing--compared to what he’d done.
But…well, maybe the reason why she wasn’t angry was that…the truth was, her marriage had been slowly dying for a while--maybe even from the very beginning--and she’d just been too oblivious, too in love with him, to realize. It took something like this, learned years and years too late, to make her finally see.
There was one thing she knew for sure now. And that was that, if Kellom had ever loved her, it hadn’t been enough. And she just wished that knowing that would stop hurting.
She rolled down all the windows and drove down the deserted midnight highway, letting the wind blow through her hair, and waited to be angry.