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feredarStory: Falling
Year: 990 FY
Characters: Kellom, Fera
Warnings: Discussion of war and genocide, acceptance of likely imminent death.
He can't quite bring himself to say goodbye.
It isn't that he loves her--he doesn't--but that...she is always there, behind him, giving everything he asks of her and more. She always has been, since the day he married her--perhaps even from the day they met.
She is his constant, he realizes--his peace. And he knows it's going wrong (though he still doesn't quite understand how), and a part of him knows that, if it does all end tomorrow, if they do penetrate the wall, he won't be coming back. And he knows that, despite how poor a husband he has always been, she loves him deeply; he is her world. And he can't bear to bring her world crashing down around her.
The way his is crashing down around him.
So he doesn't say goodbye, even though he knows this will probably be the last time she sees him. He pretends like everything is normal, and he sees in her eyes that she sees where he is falling, but she grants him that peace--that dignity--and she pretends too. She is far stronger than he gave her credit for--far stronger, in her way, than he is.
She deserves so much better than he gave her.
He doesn't love her--he never has--but part of him, as he walks away, starts to wonder. If he'd tried a little harder, if he'd paid a little more attention...perhaps he would have loved her, in the end.
He only wishes he had time to make it right.
Year: 990 FY
Characters: Kellom, Fera
Warnings: Discussion of war and genocide, acceptance of likely imminent death.
He can't quite bring himself to say goodbye.
It isn't that he loves her--he doesn't--but that...she is always there, behind him, giving everything he asks of her and more. She always has been, since the day he married her--perhaps even from the day they met.
She is his constant, he realizes--his peace. And he knows it's going wrong (though he still doesn't quite understand how), and a part of him knows that, if it does all end tomorrow, if they do penetrate the wall, he won't be coming back. And he knows that, despite how poor a husband he has always been, she loves him deeply; he is her world. And he can't bear to bring her world crashing down around her.
The way his is crashing down around him.
So he doesn't say goodbye, even though he knows this will probably be the last time she sees him. He pretends like everything is normal, and he sees in her eyes that she sees where he is falling, but she grants him that peace--that dignity--and she pretends too. She is far stronger than he gave her credit for--far stronger, in her way, than he is.
She deserves so much better than he gave her.
He doesn't love her--he never has--but part of him, as he walks away, starts to wonder. If he'd tried a little harder, if he'd paid a little more attention...perhaps he would have loved her, in the end.
He only wishes he had time to make it right.