Leading the Way
Dec. 21st, 2014 02:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
feredarStory: Leading the Way
Characters: Fera
Warnings: Discussion of an unhappy marriage, references to war and spousal death.
When Fera was a little girl, she used to run ahead of her siblings, excited to see all of the court events they were important enough to go to. And they were important enough to be on the periphery of the celebrations of her future sister-in-law Keta's wedding, though she didn't know they would be sisters at the time. She was so happy then, so excited to lead the way, back when she was living on the fringes. Close enough to see the glory, not enough to see the trouble underneath.
When Fera was the Crown Princess, she stopped leading. She was too dazzled, then, as things got harder and harder, too unsure of herself to run ahead and see the brightness of her future. And then she got pregnant, and...well, by then she was out of the habit of running ahead, even if she was happier, even if she had more prestige at court, even if her husband showed her a little more affection.
When Fera became Queen, she had learned to lead from the shadows. She spent almost all of her time with her sister-in-law Sola, learning all of the ways to take charge without being obvious. And as she saw her husband's regime continue to crumble beneath them, she realized that Sola had been right--she had no choice. She'd grown out of wanting to run ahead and see the lights, but she had to stay in front of this if she wanted to protect her son.
When Fera became regent, the doubts from the early years of her marriage came crashing back. Was she good enough? How could she possibly be good enough? But she took a breath, and drew on the network of subtle alliances her sister-in-law had helped her build, and held her son's hand. She couldn't run too far ahead of him--he was the King--but she had to lead the way. And she could do it. She would find a way.
Characters: Fera
Warnings: Discussion of an unhappy marriage, references to war and spousal death.
When Fera was a little girl, she used to run ahead of her siblings, excited to see all of the court events they were important enough to go to. And they were important enough to be on the periphery of the celebrations of her future sister-in-law Keta's wedding, though she didn't know they would be sisters at the time. She was so happy then, so excited to lead the way, back when she was living on the fringes. Close enough to see the glory, not enough to see the trouble underneath.
When Fera was the Crown Princess, she stopped leading. She was too dazzled, then, as things got harder and harder, too unsure of herself to run ahead and see the brightness of her future. And then she got pregnant, and...well, by then she was out of the habit of running ahead, even if she was happier, even if she had more prestige at court, even if her husband showed her a little more affection.
When Fera became Queen, she had learned to lead from the shadows. She spent almost all of her time with her sister-in-law Sola, learning all of the ways to take charge without being obvious. And as she saw her husband's regime continue to crumble beneath them, she realized that Sola had been right--she had no choice. She'd grown out of wanting to run ahead and see the lights, but she had to stay in front of this if she wanted to protect her son.
When Fera became regent, the doubts from the early years of her marriage came crashing back. Was she good enough? How could she possibly be good enough? But she took a breath, and drew on the network of subtle alliances her sister-in-law had helped her build, and held her son's hand. She couldn't run too far ahead of him--he was the King--but she had to lead the way. And she could do it. She would find a way.